Thursday, December 14, 2006


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A romantic lovestory... (Especially for computer programmers)


Micro was a real-time operator and dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time-sharing.

One evening he arrived home just as the sun was crashing, and had parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed the 5100 bus that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to himself, "She looks user-friendly.I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."

Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes like COBOL (** Miranda **) and a PR1ME mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking all over the place.

He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin, 32-bit floating point processors and enquired "How are you, Honeywell?""Yes, I am well", she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly and smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions.

Micro settled for a straight line approximation."I'm stand-alone tonight," he said, "How about computing a vector to my base address?I'll output a byte to eat, and maybe we could get
offset later on."

Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds then transmitted 8k, "I've been dumped myself recently, and a new page is just what I need to refresh my disks.I'll park my machine cycle in your background and meet you inside."She walked off, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids and thinking, "Wow, what a global variable, I wonder if she'd like my firmware?"

They sat down at the process table to a top of form feed of fiche and chips and a bucket of baudot. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgments although, in reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least critical path to her entry point. He finally settled on the old would_you_like_to_see_my_benchmark routine, but Mini was again one step ahead.

Suddenly she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full functionality of her operating system software."Let's get BASIC, you RAM," she said.Micro was loaded by this stage, but his hardware policing module had a processor of it's own and was in danger of overflowing its output buffer, a hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about."Core," was all he could say, as she prepared to log him off.

Micro soon recovered, however, when Mini went down on the DEC and opened her divide files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed his fully packed root device and was just about to start
pushing into her CPU stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.

"No, No!" she cried, "You're not shielded."

"Reset, baby", he replied, "I've been debugged."

"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child processes," she protested.

"Don't run away", he said, "I'll generate an interrupt."

"No that's too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design philosophy."

Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned off. But Mini soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into his main supply, whereupon he fell over with a
head crash and went to sleep.

"Computers!" she thought as she compiled herself, "All they ever think of is hex."


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Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.

When someone would ask him how he was doing, would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today.

You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.

I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. Choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Michael said.
"Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations.

You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life.
"I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon to be born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or... I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Michael continued, ". . . the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.

In their eyes, I read "he's a dead man. I knew I needed to take action.."

"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.

"Yes, I replied." The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, "Gravity."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead. "Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

You have two choices now:

1. Forget this.

2. Tell/Forward it to the people you care about. You know the choice I made..
Enjoy each day, each breath and mostly - - each and every friend.


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Saturday, December 09, 2006


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May I know the time please?

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

Old Man: Certainly not.

Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose, if you tell me the time?

Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.

Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

Young Man: Quite possible.

Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

Young Man: Possible

Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

Young Man: Smiles. ;)

Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.

Young Man: Smiles

Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.

Young Man: Oh Yes! and smiles

Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.


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Child Support

Father to daugther: "When you go back to your Mom tonight, give her this envelope and tell her that since you are now 18, this is the last cheque she`ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face."

Daughter: "OK"

Later that night

Daughter: "Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since I`m now 18, this is the last child support payment he`ll ever have to make to you. Now I`m supposed to stand back and watch the expression on your face."

Mother: "So that's the case? Do one thing, next time you visit your father, tell him that after 18 years I have decided to inform him that he`s not your father. Then, stand back and watch the expression on his face."


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Saturday, December 02, 2006


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HIV




What is HIV?
HIV stands for the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV attacks the body’s immune system - the body’s defence against diseases. HIV, if detected early, can be treated very successfully. With treatment, people living with HIV will probably have a normal lifespan, although serious health problems may still occur.

What is AIDS?
AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. A person is considered to have AIDS when the immune system has become so weak that it can no longer fight off a whole range of diseases with which it would normally cope. If HIV is diagnosed late, treatment may be less effective in preventing AIDS.

How is HIV passed on?
HIV is not transmitted via casual contact or kissing. It can only be passed on through exposure to HIV-infected blood, sexual or rectal fluids, or breast milk.

The most common ways are via:
* Sexual intercourse with an infected partner where blood or sexual fluids like semen and vaginal or rectal secretions enter the body through the penis, vagina or anus.
* Sharing infected needles or syringes when injecting drugs.
* From an HIV positive mother to her child during pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding. However, there are proven steps mothers can take to reduce the possibility of their unborn child contracting HIV.

Less common ways are via:
* Oral sex - although the risks are much lower than with sexual intercourse, blood or sexual fluids may occasionally enter the body via the mouth, particularly if the uninfected partner has gum problems or mouth ulcers.
* Unscreened and untreated transfusions of blood or blood products. However, in the UK all blood products are screened for HIV and other blood-borne diseases.
* An accident in a medical setting, where a healthcare worker is exposed to the blood of an infected person, usually during surgery or via a needlestick injury.

You cannot get HIV from day-to-day contact such as:
Kissing
Touching
Holding hands
Sharing eating utensils
Toilet seats
Swimming pools



How to prevent HIV
HIV is not transmitted via casual contact or kissing. It can only be passed on through exposure to HIV-infected blood, sexual or rectal fluids, or breast milk.

Safer sex
The best way to protect yourself and your sexual partner from HIV is by consistent and proper use of condoms. Condoms are the only form of contraception that will protect you from HIV and must be used with care if they are to be most effective. It can take only a single episode of unprotected sex (for example not using a condom or a condom splitting) with an infected partner for HIV to be passed on. However, HIV is not always passed on the first time, so it's never too late to start practising safer sex.

If you have been exposed to HIV
Post exposure prophylaxis (PEP) is available in the UK under strict prescribing guidelines to people who might have been exposed to HIV during sex. PEP is a course of anti-HIV medication that needs to be taken daily over the course of a month. For the treatment to be effective it needs to start within 72 hours of exposure. It can cause severe side effects such as diarrhoea, nausea and prolonged headaches. Find out more about PEP, whether you are eligible and how to get it.

Injecting drug use
Using clean needles will prevent the risk of infection through injecting drug use. Find out more about needle exchanges.

Mother to baby transmission
As an HIV positive mother, the risk of passing on HIV to your baby is as low as 1% if you are on anti-retroviral therapy, have a caesarean birth and do not breast feed.


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World AIDS Day...Take Action Today!!!


Take Action Today

Around forty million people are living with HIV throughout the world - and that number increases in every region every day. In the UK alone, more than 60,000 people are living with HIV and more than 7,000 more are diagnosed every year. Ignorance and prejudice are fuelling the spread of a preventable disease.

World AIDS Day, 1 December is an opportunity for people worldwide to unite in the fight against HIV and AIDS. This year, it's up to you, me and us to stop the spread of HIV and end prejudice.

This starts by taking action.

The National AIDS Trust (NAT) co-ordinates the UK World AIDS Day campaign. NAT is the UK's leading independent policy and campaigning voice on HIV and AIDS. UNAIDS sets the international theme for World AIDS Day, which this year is Stop AIDS, Keep the Promise.





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THINK TWICE BEFORE JUDGING OTHERS

One night there was a woman at the airport who had to wait for several hours before catching her next flight. While she waited she bought a book and a pack of biscuits to spend the time. She looked for a place to sit and waited.

She was deep into her book, when suddenly she realized that there was a young man sitting next to her who was stretching his hand, with no concern whatsoever, and grabbing the pack of cookies lying between them. He started to eat them one by one.

Not wanting to make a fuss about it she decided to ignore him. The woman, slightly bothered, ate the cookies and watched the clock, while the young and shameless thief of biscuits was also finishing them. The woman started to get really angry at this point and thought "If I wasn't such a good and educated person, I would have given this daring man a black eye by now."

Every time she ate a biscuit, he had one too. The dialogue between their eyes continued and when only one biscuit was left, she wondered what was he going to do. Softly and with a nervous smile, the young man grabbed the last biscuit and broke it in two. He offered one half to the woman while he ate the other half.

Briskly she took the biscuit and thought, "What an insolent man! How uneducated! He didn't even thank me!" She had never met anybody so fresh and sighed relieved to hear her flight announced. She grabbed her bags and went towards the boarding gate refusing to look back to where that insolent thief was seated.

After boarding the plane and nicely seated, she looked for her book which was nearly finished by now. While looking into her bag she was totally surprised to find her pack of biscuits nearly intact. "If my biscuits are here", she thought feeling terribly, "those others were his and he tried to share them with me." Too late to apologize to the young man, she realized with pain, that it was her who had been insolent, uneducated and a thief, and not him.

How many times in our lives, had we know with certainty that something happened in a certain way, only to discover later that it wasn't true?

How many times has our lack of trust within us made us judge other people unfairly with our conceited ideas, often far away from reality.

THAT IS WHY WE HAVE TO THINK TWICE BEFORE WE JUDGE OTHERS


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how guys xpress their love!!!

When a GUY is quiet and is alone,
He's is thinking how good you're, Miss you!!!

When a GUY is lying on his bed,
He is thinking deeply why he loves you.

When a GUY looks at you in your eyes,
He wants to tell you how much he loves you and how important you're.

When a GUY answers "I'm Fine" after a while,
He is not and feels hurts.

When a GUY keep asking you the same question,
He is wondering why you are lying.

When a GUY hugs you while sleeping,
He is wishing that you belong to him forever.

When a GUY calls you everyday,
He Miss's You and wants your attention.

When a GUY wants to see you everyday,
He cares for you and wants to know how are you today.

When a GUY sms's u everyday,
He wants you to know he is fine.

When a GUY says I love you,
He really means it.

When a GUY says that he can't live without you,
He has made up his mind that you are his future wife.

When a GUY says "I Miss You",
He wants to see you immeditely.


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Thursday, November 30, 2006

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


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Where to Make an Effort


Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's owner tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him . He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.


Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something.

Instantly, the engine lurched into life. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.
"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tapping with a hammer ............ ......... ... $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............ ......... ....... $ 9998.00


Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.



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ATM PIN NUMBER REVERSAL (GOOD TO KNOW)

If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse.

For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321. The ATM recognizes
that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine.

The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you.

This information was recently broadcasted on TV and it states that it is seldom used because people don't know it exists.


Please pass this along to everyone possible.


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Information about Virus


A program or piece of code that is loaded onto your computer without your knowledge and runs against your wishes. Viruses can also replicate themselves. All computer viruses are manmade. A simple virus that can make a copy of itself over and over again is relatively easy to produce. Even such a simple virus is dangerous because it will quickly use all available memory and bring the system to a halt. An even more dangerous type of virus is one capable of transmitting itself across networks and bypassing security systems.

Since 1987, when a virus infected ARPANET, a large network used by the Defense Department and many universities, many antivirus programs have become available. These programs periodically check your computer system for the best-known types of viruses.

Some people distinguish between general viruses and worms. A worm is a special type of virus that can replicate itself and use memory, but cannot attach itself to other programs.

The Difference Between a Virus, Worm and Trojan Horse
The most common blunder people make when the topic of a computer virus arises is to refer to a worm or Trojan horse as a virus. While the words Trojan, worm and virus are often used interchangeably, they are not the same. Viruses, worms and Trojan Horses are all malicious programs that can cause damage to your computer, but there are differences among the three, and knowing those differences can help you to better protect your computer from their often damaging effects.

A computer virus attaches itself to a program or file so it can spread from one computer to another, leaving infections as it travels. Much like human viruses, computer viruses can range in severity: Some viruses cause only mildly annoying effects while others can damage your hardware, software or files. Almost all viruses are attached to an executable file, which means the virus may exist on your computer but it cannot infect your computer unless you run or open the malicious program. It is important to note that a virus cannot be spread without a human action, (such as running an infected program) to keep it going. People continue the spread of a computer virus, mostly unknowingly, by sharing infecting files or sending e-mails with viruses as attachments in the e-mail.

A worm is similar to a virus by its design, and is considered to be a sub-class of a virus. Worms spread from computer to computer, but unlike a virus, it has the capability to travel without any help from a person. A worm takes advantage of file or information transport features on your system, which allows it to travel unaided. The biggest danger with a worm is its capability to replicate itself on your system, so rather than your computer sending out a single worm, it could send out hundreds or thousands of copies of itself, creating a huge devastating effect. One example would be for a worm to send a copy of itself to everyone listed in your e-mail address book. Then, the worm replicates and sends itself out to everyone listed in each of the receiver's address book, and the manifest continues on down the line. Due to the copying nature of a worm and its capability to travel across networks the end result in most cases is that the worm consumes too much system memory (or network bandwidth), causing Web servers, network servers and individual computers to stop responding. In more recent worm attacks such as the much-talked-about .Blaster Worm., the worm has been designed to tunnel into your system and allow malicious users to control your computer remotely.
Key Terms To Understanding Computer Viruses:

virus
A program or piece of code that is loaded onto your computer without your knowledge and runs against your wishes.

Trojan Horse
A destructive program that masquerades as a benign application. Unlike viruses, Trojan horses do not replicate themselves

worm
A program or algorithm that replicates itself over a computer network and usually performs malicious actions

blended threat
Blended threats combine the characteristics of viruses, worms, Trojan Horses, and malicious code with server and Internet vulnerabilities .

antivirus program
A utility that searches a hard disk for viruses and removes any that are found.

A Trojan Horse is full of as much trickery as the mythological Trojan Horse it was named after. The Trojan Horse, at first glance will appear to be useful software but will actually do damage once installed or run on your computer. Those on the receiving end of a Trojan Horse are usually tricked into opening them because they appear to be receiving legitimate software or files from a legitimate source. When a Trojan is activated on your computer, the results can vary. Some Trojans are designed to be more annoying than malicious (like changing your desktop, adding silly active desktop icons) or they can cause serious damage by deleting files and destroying information on your system. Trojans are also known to create a backdoor on your computer that gives malicious users access to your system, possibly allowing confidential or personal information to be compromised. Unlike viruses and worms, Trojans do not reproduce by infecting other files nor do they self-replicate.

Added into the mix, we also have what is called a blended threat. A blended threat is a sophisticated attack that bundles some of the worst aspects of viruses, worms, Trojan horses and malicious code into one threat. Blended threats use server and Internet vulnerabilities to initiate, transmit and spread an attack. This combination of method and techniques means blended threats can spread quickly and cause widespread damage. Characteristics of blended threats include: causes harm, propagates by multiple methods, attacks from multiple points and exploits vulnerabilities.

To be considered a blended thread, the attack would normally serve to transport multiple attacks in one payload. For examplem it wouldn't just launch a DoS attack — it would also install a backdoor and damage a local system in one shot. Additionally, blended threats are designed to use multiple modes of transport. For example, a worm may travel through e-mail, but a single blended threat could use multiple routes such as e-mail, IRC and file-sharing sharing networks. The actual attack itself is also not limited to a specific act. For example, rather than a specific attack on predetermined .exe files, a blended thread could modify exe files, HTML files and registry keys at the same time — basically it can cause damage within several areas of your network at one time.

Blended threats are considered to be the worst risk to security since the inception of viruses, as most blended threats require no human intervention to propagate.

Combating Viruses, Worms and Trojan Horses
The first steps to protecting your computer are to ensure your operating system (OS) is up-to-date. This is essential if you are running a Microsoft Windows OS. Secondly, you should have anti-virus software installed on your system and ensure you download updates frequently to ensure your software has the latest fixes for new viruses, worms, and Trojan horses. Additionally, you want to make sure your anti-virus program has the capability to scan e-mail and files as they are downloaded from the Internet. This will help prevent malicious programs from even reaching your computer. You should also install a firewall as well.

A firewall is a system that prevents unauthorized use and access to your computer. A firewall can be either hardware or software. Hardware firewalls provide a strong degree of protection from most forms of attack coming from the outside world and can be purchased as a stand-alone product or in broadband routers. Unfortunately, when battling viruses, worms and Trojans, a hardware firewall may be less effective than a software firewall, as it could possibly ignore embedded worms in out going e-mails and see this as regular network traffic. For individual home users, the most popular firewall choice is a software firewall. A good software firewall will protect your computer from outside attempts to control or gain access your computer, and usually provides additional protection against the most common Trojan programs or e-mail worms. The downside to software firewalls is that they will only protect the computer they are installed on, not a network.

It is important to remember that on its own a firewall is not going to rid you of your computer virus problems, but when used in conjunction with regular operating system updates and a good anti-virus scanning software, it will add some extra security and protection for your computer or network.


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Three Things


Three things to be
- pure, just and honest

Three things to govern
- temper, tongue and conduct

Three things to have
- courage, affection and gentleness

Three things to love
- the wise, the virtuous and the innocent

Three things to commend
- thrift, industry and promptness

Three things to despise
- cruelty, arrogance and ingratitude

Three things to attain
- goodness of heart, integrity, and cheerfulness


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Wednesday, November 22, 2006


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Girls are always incomplete without boys


WOMAN has MAN in it

SHE has HE in it

Mrs. Has Mr. In it

LADY has LAD in it

MISTRESS has MISTER in it

MADAM has ADAM in it

HOSTESS has HOST in it

FEMALE has MALE in it so on the list is unending

So No need to proud.....

Girls are always incomplete without boys


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Tuesday, November 21, 2006


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SMS Dictionary

Numeric
:-0 hbtu 0-: happy birthday to you
@WRK At work
2bctnd to be continued.
2d4 to die for
2g4u to good for you
2l8 too late
2WIMC To whom it may concern
4e forever
4yeo for your eyes only
2Ht2Hndl Too hot to handle.

A
AAM As a matter of fact.
AB Ah Bless!
ADctd2uv Addicted to Love
AFAIK As far as I know
AKA Also known as
ALlWanIsU All I want is You
AML All my love
ASAP As soon as possible
ATB All the best
ATW At the weekend
AWHFY Are we having fun yet

B
BTW By the way
B4 Before
BBFN Bye Bye for now.
BBS Be back soon
BBSD Be back soon darling
BCNU Be seein' you
BF Boy Friend
BGWM Be gentle with me (please)
BRB Be right back

C
Cm Call me
Cu See you
CUIMD See you in my dreams
Cul See you later
CUL8R See you later

D
Dk Don't know
Dur? Do you remember

E
E2eg Ear to ear grin
EOD End of discussion
EOL End of lecture

F
F? Friends
F2F face to face
F2T Free to talk
FITB Fill in the Blank
FYEO For your eyes only.
FYA For your amusement
FYI For your information

G
GF Girlfirend
GG Good Game
GMeSumLuvin Give me some loving!
Gr8 Great
GSOH Good Salary, Own Home
GTSY Glad to see you

H
h2cus Hope to see you soon
H8 Hate
HAGN Have a good night
HAND Have a nice day
HldMeCls Hold me close
Ht4U Hot for You
H&K Hugs and Kisses

I
IDK I dont know
IGotUBabe Ive got you Babe
IIRC If I recall correctly
IMHO In my humble opinion
IMI I mean it
ILU I love You
IMBLuv It must be Love
IOW In other words...
IOU I owe you
IUSS If you say so

J
J4F just for fun
JFK Just for kicks
JstCllMe Just call Me

K
KC keep cool
KHUF know how you feel
KIT Keep in touch
KOTC Kiss on the cheek
KOTL Kiss on the lips

L
L8 Late
L8r Later
Lol laughing out loud
LTNC Long time no see
LtsGt2gthr Lets get together

M
M$ULkeCrZ Miss you like Crazy!
M8 mate
MC merry Christmas
MGB May God Bless
Mob Mobile
MYOB Mind your own Business

N
NA No access
NC No comment
NE Any
NE1 Anyone
No1 No-One
NWO No way out

O
O4U only for you
OIC Oh, I see.
OTOH On the other hand

P
PPL People
PCM Please call me

Q
QT Cutie

R
R Are
RMB Ring my Bell
ROTFL Roll on the floor laughing
RU? Are you?
RUOK? Are you Ok?

S
SC Stay cool
SETE Smiling Ear to Ear
SO Significant Other
SOL sooner or later
SME1 Some One
SRY Sorry
SWALK Sent with a loving Kiss
SWG Scientific Wild Guess

T
T+ Think positive
T2ul Talk to you later
TDTU Totally devoted to you
Thx Thanks
T2Go Time to Go
TIC Tounge in Cheek
TMIY Take me Im yours
TTFN Ta ta for now.
THX40 Thanks for nothing!
TIC Tongue in cheek
TTFN Ta-Ta For Now!
TTYL Talk To You Later

U
U You
UR Y ou are
URT1 Your are the one
U2 You Too
U4E Yours For Ever

V
VRI Very


W
W4u Waiting for you
WAN2 Want to
WLUMRyMe Will you marry Me?
WRT With respect to
WUWH Wish you were here
W8 Wait
WAG Wild ass guess
WB Welcome Back
WTG Way to go!
WUF Where are you from?

X
X! Typical Woman
X Kiss
XclusvlyUrs Exclusively Yours

Y
Y! Typical Man
YBS You'll be Sorry

Z
Zu Zoo



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STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick .

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter :- Would you like to Have BLACK COFFEE..
CUSTOMER : "What other colors do you have?"

5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.

6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated" .

8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".

10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".

11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."

12) Teacher : " George Washington no! t only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."


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How Can A Student Pass???


It's not the fault of a student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365 days.

Typical academic year for a student :

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.

Days left 313.


2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.

Days left 263.


3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.

Days left 141.


4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days.

Days left 126.


5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing) means 30 days.

Days left 96.


6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) means 15 days.

Days left 81.


7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.

Days left 46.


8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (Holidays)-40 days.

Balance 6 days.


9. For sickness- at least 3 days.

Remaining days = 3.


10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.


11. That 1 day is your birthday.


How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!

Balance = 0


"How can a student pass ???"


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Friday, November 17, 2006


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10 Rules for having Good Day...


1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK:
If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind...
I will not respond in a like manner.

2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY "ENEMY":
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual.
I understand the "enemy" could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger.

3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain...
that I do not spread gossip.

4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.

5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.

6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE, BUT I WILL NOT DO IT SECRETLY:
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.

7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED:
I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would have them do unto me" - with everyone I encounter.

8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE I DISCOURAGED:
My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to someone who is wrestling life.

9. TODAY I WILL NUTURE MY BODY:
I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body.

10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLUY:
I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a quiet place (at some point during the day)!


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Thursday, November 16, 2006


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What is Life...


Life is a Pleasure - Expand it.
Life is a Struggle - Invite it.
Life is Clumsiness - Direst it.
Life is a Suggestion - Hear it.
Life is a Mystic - Search it.
Life is a Tragedy - Fight it.
Life is a Love - Love it.
Life is a Duty - Complete it.
Life is a Poem - Sing it.
Life is a Game - Play it.
Life is a Dream - Identify it.
Life is a Happiness - Embrace it.
Life is Gambling - Care it.
Life is an Enterprise - Enterprise it.
Life is a Code - Solve it.
Life is a God's Gift - Understand [Accept] it.
Life is a Fragrance - Smell it.
Life is an Ornament - Chew it.
Life is a Challenge - Perfect it.
Life is an Art - Paint it.
Life is a Beauty - Admire it.


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Love & Marriage

A Student asks a sage, "What is love?"
The sage replied, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through it only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, going thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wondered.... may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he had missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the sage with an empty hand.

The sage told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already missed the person...."



"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The sage said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is same you can go through it only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt would satisfy, and came back to the sage.

The sage told him, "this time you brought back a corn.... you looked for one that is just nice, and you had faith and believed this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."



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Monday, November 13, 2006



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Advice


Do not... undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not... set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Do not... take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Do not... let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Do not... give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Do not... be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Do not... shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love; The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.

Do not... dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not... run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.


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Healthy People?


A story is told about a soldier who was finally coming home after having fought in Vietnam. He called his parents from San Francisco.
"Mom and Dad, I'm coming home, but I've a favor to ask. I have a friend I'd like to bring home with me."

"Sure," they replied, "we'd love to meet him."

"There's something you should know the son continued, "he was hurt pretty badly in the fighting. He stepped on a land mind and lost an arm and a leg. He has nowhere else to go, and I want him to come live with us."

"I'm sorry to hear that, son. Maybe we can help him find somewhere to live."

"No, Mom and Dad, I want him to live with us."

"Son," said the father, "you don't know what you're asking. Someone with such a handicap would be a terrible burden on us. We have our own lives to live, and we can't let something like this interfere with our lives. I think you should just come home and forget about this guy. He'll find a way to live on his own."

At that point, the son hung up the phone. The parents heard nothing more from him. A few days later, however, they received a call from the San Francisco police. Their son had died after falling from a building, they were told. The police believed it was suicide. The grief-stricken parents flew to San Francisco and were taken to the city morgue to identify the body of their son. They recognized him, but to their horror they also discovered something they didn't know, their son had only one arm and one leg.

The parents in this story are like many of us. We find it easy to love those who are good-looking or fun to have around, but we don't like people who inconvenience us or make us feel uncomfortable. We would rather stay away from people who aren't as healthy, beautiful, or smart as we are. Thankfully, there's someone who won't treat us that way. Someone who loves us with an unconditional love that welcomes us into the forever family, regardless of how messed up we are.


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Saturday, November 11, 2006



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Marriage

M - Merging
A - Ambition
R - Respect
R - Response
I - Intimacy
A - Accredition
G - Gaiety
E - Eternity

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Know the difference between "somebody you Love" and "somebody you Like"



In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you like, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can't say everything on your mind
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy
But in front of the person you like, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye
But the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever.


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Certain simple techniques to cope with our increasingly demanding work-styles. ......


Suggestions
Benefits
Try not to use the intercom. Rather, walk to your colleagues and discuss matters.
Stretches your back, and leg muscles. Helps build rapport with colleagues. Relaxes your eyes and ears. Relaxes your neck.
Drink lots of water / liquids.
Will require you to walk to the rest room regularly. Good stress buster
Small meals at regular intervals
Keeps away acidity. Makes you walk to the cafeteria thus providing exercise.
Laughter is the best medicine
Hard works is good, but let us not lose our sense of humour. Learn to laugh for everything. Stress buster, good for face muscles and eyes. Sharpens thinking capabilities. Mainly, laughter is contagious.
20, 20, 20, 20 rule - Every 20 minutes, look at an object at least 20 meters away for at least 20 seconds. After that blink your eyes 20 times before you resume on the computer
Good for eyes, neck, back. You get to chose what object you want to look at!
Keep your feet firmly planted on the ground
Good for back, neck and leg muscles. Keeps Ego in check!
Use an external mouse ( Laptop users). Rest you elbow where ever possible
Good for neck, back, arms, shoulders and wrist.
Ensure that you chair is adjusted to optimum height and the back-rest is adjusted to normal (rather than recline)
Good for back and neck
Use speaker-phones for long calls (calls for more than 20 minutes)
Less stressful and enables more movement of the body.
Get it off you . Talk to someone about anything that bothers you.
All of us have stress. It is how we manage it. Make friends in office to whom you can open your heart out. Honest discussions very often provide answers to difficult situations.

All of us spend 10 hours in office and we need to learn to enjoy those 10 hours.

Happy working....Cheers. ....




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Some Common Run Commands...

Accessibility Controls
access.cpl

Add Hardware Wizard
hdwwiz.cpl

Add/Remove Programs
appwiz.cpl

Administrative Tools
control.exe admintools

Automatic Updates
wuaucpl.cpl

Bluetooth Transfer Wizard
fsquirt

Calculator
calc

Certificate Manager
certmgr.msc

Character Map
charmap

Check Disk Utility
chkdsk

Clipboard Viewer
clipbrd

Command Prompt
cmd

Component Services
dcomcnfg

Computer Management
compmgmt.msc

Date and Time Properties
timedate.cpl

DDE Shares
ddeshare

Device Manager
devmgmt.msc

Direct X Control Panel (if installed)*
directx.cpl

Direct X Troubleshooter
dxdiag

Disk Cleanup Utility
cleanmgr

Disk Defragment
dfrg.msc

Disk Management
diskmgmt.msc

Disk Partition Manager
diskpart

Display Properties
control.exe desktop

Display Properties
desk.cpl

Display Properties (w/Appearance Tab Preselected)
control.exe color

Dr. Watson System Troubleshooting Utility
drwtsn32

Driver Verifier Utility
verifier

Event Viewer
eventvwr.msc

File Signature Verification Tool
sigverif

Findfast
findfast.cpl

Folders Properties
control.exe folders

Fonts
control.exe fonts

Fonts Folder
fonts

Free Cell Card Game
freecell

Game Controllers
joy.cpl

Group Policy Editor (XP Prof)
gpedit.msc

Hearts Card Game
mshearts

Iexpress Wizard
iexpress

Indexing Service
ciadv.msc

Internet Properties
inetcpl.cpl

Java Control Panel (if installed)
jpicpl32.cpl

Java Control Panel (if installed)
javaws

Keyboard Properties
control.exe keyboard

Local Security Settings
secpol.msc

Local Users and Groups
lusrmgr.msc

Logs You Out Of Windows
logoff

Mcft Chat
winchat

Minesweeper Game
winmine

Mouse Properties
control.exe mouse

Mouse Properties
main.cpl

MSTSC – For remote desktop connection

Network Connections
control.exe netconnections

Network Connections
ncpa.cpl

Network Setup Wizard
netsetup.cpl

Nview Desktop Manager (if installed)
nvtuicpl.cpl

Object Packager
packager

ODBC Data Source Administrator
odbccp32.cpl

On Screen Keyboard
osk

Opens AC3 Filter (if installed)
ac3filter.cpl

Password Properties
password.cpl

Performance Monitor
perfmon.msc

Performance Monitor
perfmon

Phone and Modem Options
telephon.cpl

Power Configuration
powercfg.cpl

Printers and Faxes
control.exe printers

Printers Folder
printers

Private Character Editor
eudcedit

Quicktime (If Installed)
QuickTime.cpl

Regional Settings
intl.cpl

Registry Editor
regedit

Registry Editor
regedit32

Removable Storage
ntmsmgr.msc

Removable Storage Operator Requests
ntmsoprq.msc

Resultant Set of Policy
rsop.msc

Resultant Set of Policy (XP Prof)
rsop.msc

Scanners and Cameras
sticpl.cpl

Scheduled Tasks
control.exe schedtasks

Security Center
wscui.cpl

Services
services.msc

Shared Folders
fsmgmt.msc

Shuts Down Windows
shutdown

Sounds and Audio
mmsys.cpl

Spider Solitare Card Game
spider

SQL Client Configuration
cliconfg

System Configuration Editor
sysedit

System Configuration Utility
msconfig

System File Checker Utility
sfc

System Properties
sysdm.cpl

Task Manager
taskmgr

Telnet Client
telnet

User Account Management
nusrmgr.cpl

Utility Manager
utilman

Windows Firewall
firewall.cpl

Windows Magnifier
magnify

Windows Management Infrastructure
wmimgmt.msc

Windows System Security Tool
syskey

Windows Update Launches
wupdmgr

Windows XP Tour Wizard
tourstart

Wordpad
write


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Mis-Understanding...


girl: Do i ever cross ur mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or ur life

Boy: my life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.


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Friday, November 10, 2006



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Your Guide to E-mail Etiquette



Communication has come a long way. And, with the ever-rising popularity of the Internet as a vehicle for formal business communication, Netiquette, a relatively new concept, is a must-know for every professional.

It is a set of standards of acceptable behaviour you need to follow when online, and includes rules you need to follow while sending and receiving formal business missives.

Why do you need netiquette? For two reasons: It creates an impression of professionalism. And it ensures the correct message gets across. Some simple rules, if followed while sending e-mail, make all the difference between a good professional impression and a bad one.

Why are you writing ?

State the purpose of your e-mail -- it is a good practice to have a subject line that explains what follows and how high on the priority list it should be. This information has to be in two places:

i. The subject box, which is part of the compose e-mail form. Here, state the reason for your mail. If you are writing it to apply for leave, you could say 'Leave application' .

ii. Subject line in the main e-mail body; just as you would in any formal business letter. Here, you could say:

Sub: Leave application, November 1 - November 15, 2006

Greet right

Address people you don't know as Mr, Mrs, Ms or Dr. Address someone by first name only if you are on a first name basis with each other; it is okay, under these circumstances, to use first names on a formal business missive.

If you do not know the name of the person, or whether it is a man or a woman, it is best to address the person concerned as: Dear Sir / Madam, Whomsoever it may concern, The Manager; etc.

And your point is?

Get to the point.

Verbosity and extreme terseness are two ends of a spectrum, you should try for the middle -- state your point without sounding rudely brief or chatty.

Remember to state your point and what you expect from the reader of your mail in clear terms. There should also be a clear structure -- an introduction, body and conclusion.

2 use or not 2 use...

Never use 'sms-ese' or informal abbreviations in your email. U instead of you, 2 instead of to or too, plz instead of please, thanx instead of thanks and 4 instead of for are a strict no-no.

While are all right for personal e-mail, they show a level of informality not encouraged in formal business communication. Frequently used abbreviations you may use include FYI (for your information) , Pvt., Ltd., Co., etc., OK.

The magic of spells

Though using a spell check is a must, don't rely on it completely. The most common areas of errors and confusion are -- two, too and to.

For example -

Wrong: I would like two order too other books two.

Correct: I would like to order two other books, too.

A hit or miss effort with spellings does not help -- use a dictionary.

Write right

Good grammar is very important. A correctly framed sentence, with proper punctuation in place, is what you should aim at. Be very careful with commas, especially, as they change the meaning of a sentence.

For Example -

Wrong: All foreign tea, tree, oils are free from duty.

Correct: All foreign tea tree oils are free from duty.

Use action words and 'I' statements -- they evoke a sense of reassurance in the reader. For

For Example -

On receipt of your earlier mail, I/ we have already set things in motion and I/ we assure you that you will receive your order on time.

I was responsible for the day-to-day working and administration of the office; planning, scheduling, and achieving targets were my areas of contribution.

Mind your P's and Q's

Though a friendly tone is encouraged, basic corporate etiquette rules do apply. So, maintain a well-mannered, friendly polite stance.

Gender-neutral language is politically correct -- couch your e-mail accordingly. This essentially means you should not assume a person's gender on the basis of the designation. Keep the e-mail neutral.
Attachment breeds detachment

With worms, viruses, and spam, nobody wants to open attachments anymore, not even if the e-mail is from one's own mother. If you do need to send an attachment, confirm this with the recipient first.
Like an arrow shot from a bow

An e-mail is like the spoken word -- once sent, you can't recall it. By the time you press the recall button, chances are it has already reached and, with it, your recall message. This compounds the embarrassment. So, think before you dash off something.
The KISS rules

Keep It Short and Simple. Use simple sentences, words that don't need a dictionary. Use universal formats -- not all systems support HTML rich style, or tables and tabs. You could lose much by way of appearances if your recipient's system can't support all that fancy formatting you spent hours working on.
Smile please

Smileys and other emoticons are a way to add 'body language' to e-mail. When used appropriately and sparingly, smileys do bring a touch of personalisation to otherwise impersonal mail. Of course, due care with regards to the appropriateness of the communication must be taken.
You would not use emoticons in job application covering letters, while delivering bad news (delay in order, loss of job, etc). Use discretion.
Emoticons are generally used to add comfort to the communication or soften the blow. The most common smiley faces are probably these:
:-) OR :) Just a smile / can be used for greeting or making a point gently.

:-( OR :( To show mild displeasure or that something is not going the way you want it to.

;-) Equivalent to a wink -- used to convey that a particular comment is a joke and not to be taken too seriously.

;-> To be used sparingly, and with people you know well, as this signifies a provocative comment.
Humour doesn't travel

What seems funny to you may be offensive to someone else. Remember, humour doesn't travel well. Jokes about religion, sports, political figures, and women may come across as tasteless and should be avoided at all costs.
Swift and prompt

Be prompt in replying. That is why we have the Internet. If a prompt response were not expected, one would use the postal service.


CAPITAL, MY DEAR FELLOW


IF YOU WRITE IN CAPITALS, IT SEEMS AS IF YOU ARE SHOUTING. You could get really angry responses to your e-mail if you do so, and trigger a flame war.
Fw. Fw. Fw.

Do not forward chain letters -- simply delete them. Also avoid forwarding them to professional contacts.

Shh... It's a secret

If it is a secret, don't send it via e-mail -- you never know where it will end up.
Connections

Keep the thread of the message as part of your mail; this will help keep the context handy. The thread is the previous message/s in context to which this e-mail is being written. Last but not least, please, please read the e-mail before you click the 'Send' button. It will save you a lot of embarrassment and misunderstanding.

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